伤心欲绝的三年：从美国各地的DNF捡起

Rupert Guinness is a cycling journalist who has covered more than 30 Tours de France, including most recently as a Tour Daily podcast host with CyclingTips. In recent years, he’s taken on a series of the most difficult ultra-endurance cycling events in the world. This year that meant a run at the Race Across America. It didn’t end as Rupert had hoped, and he penned this reflection。

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A cocktail of emotions overcome me: disappointment, sadness, shame, embarrassment, frustration, anger …

My eyes well. Tears roll. What energy I have left suddenly escapes me soon after passing a hellish 55km climb from Camp Verde in Arizona. I fall into the shoulders of a crew member whose look says it all without them saying it. After two days and six hours, myRace Across Americais done.

Told I am to have another sleep, that the crew will drive me to a hotel 70km away, I know making the 12-day time limit for the 4,900km RAAM distance will now be impossible.

It is 7 pm, June 16. Seated in the caressing comfort of the support car as we drive into the sunset towards the town of Winslow, Arizona – immortalised in theThe Eagles1972 hit song,别紧张- 我对不可能的意识克服了我。没有人会这么说，但是我可以做数学。如果我要在一小时的车程驶入酒店，知道自己已经停下来了，我将无法到达科罗拉多州杜兰戈（Durango）的截止日期。

我不能相信它。我几乎惊呆了,虽然I know it’s real. But the wave of emotion pours over me again in the car … not just once, but several times more as it all sinks in. Three years of preparation, including 32,000-plus kilometres of cycling each year and almost $200,000 in raised funds spent on training camps, equipment, food and various supplies, plus the financial and emotional investment of so many people, has led to the very premature end of a dream.

我问自己，这是环法自行车骑士被迫放弃时的感觉吗？我看到许多旅行骑手在慢慢的时候哭了起来，停下来，然后从踏板上拉开脚，然后下马，然后用电视旁边的电视撞上车，然后在他们周围打印摄像头，以抓住这一刻。当我为他们感到自己时，我从未经历过他们的深刻情感。我怎么能？到目前为止 …

Just like that, the Race Across America is over for me and my ever-loyal support crew. ‘Standing on a corner’ in Winslow several hours later, I still can’t believe it. My senses are still dulled. I’m not yet able to own my DNF. Whatever led to my demise, I was not up to finishing RAAM 2022. Simple as that.

第二天，即使只有两天半的赛车，我的疲劳也没有我所经历的。它与5,471公里之后有所不同Indian Pacific Wheel Race在2018年。远远超过12天和3,571公里虚拟raamin 2020; far greater than riding 3,777km from达尔文（Darwin）到阿德莱德（Adelaide）踏板的力量over 12 days in 2021.

However, as I now realise, those were different events. They had different purposes and different stakes. With RAAM came the build-up, the expectation and the pressure, notwithstanding the added pressures of key changes in my real life: the weight of which built beyond what I had known.

But as the fog in my head clears over that final day in RAAM and the challenging days that followed, I find a positive rationale behind the whole experience. The flood of support does wonders, from my support crew who had all been pained by the outcome in their own and varying ways after so much commitment, then well-wishers known and not known to me from around the world. Among them too are my sponsors who firstly touch base to check on how I am, but then several days later contact me again to reaffirm their commitment to continue doing so with an eye on a tilt at the 2023 RAAM.

这有很大帮助，鼓励我深吸一口气，抛弃我的尴尬，羞耻甚至内gui，并反思我去世的核心并从中学习：令人衰弱的尺骨神经压缩问题，使我的右臂几乎无能为力将我直立在车把上。我还意识到，我并不孤单地被“世界上最艰难的自行车比赛”所击倒。

I accept there is no way I could have known how hard RAAM really is despite all the training until after I rolled away the start in Oceanside and found out for myself in the next days.

只有38％将完成RAAM的统计数据不是谎言。任何入门者成为“ DNF”的可能性都是非常真实的。在没有结束的62％的人中找到自己之后，现在挑战是拥有一个寒冷，艰难的事实，即无论出于何种原因，我都不要完成Raam……至少至少现在；然后决定我现在所学到的经验教训。

Just like that, after accepting my RAAM setback asmyresult andmy在做什么，而不是我担心的是，从我的肩膀上抬起了一个重量。我的思想突然清除了，转向了等待什么的兴奋，而不是我身后的东西，无法改变。

当然，我的raam“ dnf”仍然令人失望。但是现在我可以用来激励而不是使我衰弱，这是一种失望。很容易导致我称其为未来的赛车野心再次退出，这再次变成了承诺的理由。My RAAM DNF is not the disaster and waste of so much time, money and resources from so many that a negative half glass empty type of person might see it as, but one layer in the long game towards understanding how to race RAAM to one’s best, no matter whether that leads to a finish or not.

我在RAAM方面取得了最好的成就吗？我相信我没有……仍然没有。而且，不需要任何更大的灵魂来质疑我是否会进入2023年的RAAM。实际上，我是第一个由晶须这样做的人，夺取了3,150美元的RAAM“早鸟”率。因此，旅程仍在继续。

这就是为什么我现在我写这些字s, in the city of Nice in the south of France, getting ready to get back on the saddle for another adventure, but different to RAAM: theHaute Route从8月21日（星期日）开始。

我已经在RAAM前几个月进入了高级路线。为什么？我首先将其视为射线后的绝妙选择，可以在“大事件”抑郁症开始时触发新的动机，无论RAAM的结果如何。如果我参加了良好的比赛并完成了RAAM，那么此后的精神衰退仍然是一种可能性，我将高级路线视为在康复期间可以集中精力的高胡萝卜。我没有完成RAAM（因为我还没有）吗？好吧，尽管知道它存在，但我并没有为这种可能性而努力。但是，我知道高级路线将达到相同的目的。

Now that I am here in Nice, two sleeps from starting Haute Route, my purpose for it is more precise and probably reflects my mindset in the aftermath of RAAM. The 2022 Haute Route is one of cycling’s greatest cycling adventures.

高级路线是一场790公里的舞台比赛，从尼斯（Nice）在法国里维埃拉（Riviera），北向意大利和法国阿尔卑斯山到梅吉夫（Megeve），参赛者将骑行至21,000米的海拔。与超距离事件不同，例如4,900公里的RAAM或5,471公里Indian Pacific Wheel Racein Australia, Haute Route pits entrants against daily routes restricted by distance that requires riders to stop and retire for the night. It features elite amateur riders and former professionals. However, behind them and other leaders of the pack that number a staggering 500 are riders who are in it for reasons beyond what the daily or overall classification determines.

Mine? It is two-fold. The first is to savour the seven-stage adventure for what it is, a tough but eye-opening experience through some of Europe’s most iconic mountains that feature in events like the Tour de France and Giro d’Italia, in conditions like those provided to a professional rider. That means full security, mechanical, physiotherapy and medical support.

I do not want the adventure to fill the void of satisfaction left by my RAAM debut, but to set me up in mind and body for the preparation and planning I will need for my second RAAM bid next year – a reboot, an opportunity to take on a new challenge while at the same time providing the chance to stop and breath, to savour this first-ever experience of riding through some of the most beautiful (albeit extremely difficult) terrain a cyclist could dream of.

In turn, through my portrayal of the Haute Route experience in various public formats, I hope I will be able to help other people find a path forward from their own setbacks in life.

The key to finding that ‘how’ is a superpower to unlocking a future that will help one embrace the elements that contributed to that setback as a positive learning experience.

好吧，这是我的想法，因为开始了高级路线。但是，正如我在我一生的新自行车章中发现的那样，在任何新挑战中，人们都希望并不是人们总是会得到的。无论退货是成功还是挫折，这并不重要。最重要的是经验，从中可以从中学习。